i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
you have to choose: penises or morals?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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