What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
