Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
