Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
