A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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