i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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