Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
