sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
soo... how was my night?
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