you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
