Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
