I would go down on you faster than GM stock
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
