May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize