I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
