That's intense
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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