using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Randomize
