So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
