we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
