I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
