Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So apparently I’m into choking now
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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