that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
