At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize
