why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
