Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
