i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
did i walk over a car last night?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
