Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
