Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
