She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
