I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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