I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i think i have herpe
just one?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
