you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
