He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
