My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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