i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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