we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
