After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
