I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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