I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
