ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
