HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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