just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He shit in the fireplace
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
