When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
