none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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