Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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