Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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