weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
