We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize