Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
