Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Randomize
