words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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