I just threw up on my dentist
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
