Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
